FOOTBALL - Americans & Australians insist on calling it "Soccer" but the Brits definitely have the correct useage: because you have to use your feet! Not pick it up with 
both mitts. Where's the skill in that?? Footballers are all eloquent & well educated. Well Eric Cantona is, & he's the only footballer I've ever been interested in! (He retired about ten years ago though). Footballers get paid ridiculous amounts of money to run around for ten minutes, then get substituted when they break a toenail.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS - They are all married to surgically-enhanced over-tanned Essex girls who wear tight white clothing & have affairs, at least according to the (inexplicably) extremely popular soap 'Footballer's Wives'. Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) is the most famous real-life footballers wife
FOOTBALL SUPPORTERS - Due to football, all shops in England now have signs saying 'Come on England' in the window. This includes the bakers, which sell England biscuits. One of our neighbours has added a red cross of Saint George to his white garage door to make his support known. Cars are bedecked with plastic England flags, England furry dice, England air fresheners, even kids clothes are coverd in England motifs. I'm expecting to pick up plenty of bargains when they get knocked out in the second round.
ROUNDERS -One of the reasons all Pommie sportsmen think Yanks (Americans) are wimps. Basically Baseball, but played by schoolgirls in inclement weather. (The other reason is ‘American Football’. How much padding do you need to play a soft version of rugby?)
RUGBY LEAGUE - Also known as Rugby. There is a very old joke about rugby... rugby is a game played by men with odd-shaped balls. It's named after the public school where it was invented (Rugby, a place in the Midlands). The League teams all changed to these sillly American-football style names a few years ago. There are 13 players in League and a lot more running than Union. Bradford Bulls were the Rugby League Superleague champions 2005. Also the masculinity/heterosexuality of rugby players is NEVER to be called into question.
RUGBY UNION - Also known as Rugby. Don't discuss the wrong code with a supporter, or they'll get very offended. International matches tend to be Rugby Union matches. The most important being The Six Nations: England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, France & Italy. There are 15 players in Union and a lot more scrums than League. Rugby scrums are one of the few places it is acceptable for males to rest their heads on each other's thighs. Note to the curious: a quick google search should pinpoint a few other areas to undertake this activity. Important, the masculinity / heterosexuality of rugby players is NEVER to be called into question - except by players of the opposing rugby code.
