Australia is special in that lots of our animals are only found in our country. We decided to change this a few years ago and introduced dozens of foreign animals to make it more even. They ate most of the native ones, so now we're a little embarrassed. Most people would say that Australian Animals are "more scared of you" than you are of them, but as true as this may be, they're still quite likely to kill you. Australian Animals have been sorted into two catergories:
Dangerous |
Non-Dangerous |
Blue Tongue Lizard |
BLUE TONGUE LIZARDS - Another one of the “he’s more scared of you” animals, but I’ve seen 
one try to take on a cattle dog in the middle of a main road. They have a blue tongue which they flicker to scare attackers, and flatten themselves out to look bigger. I don’t think they even have teeth, but if you stepped on one (because they look like leaves or sticks sometimes) you could fall over and hit your head because they feel pretty gross under foot.
CROCODILE -These are found in many places around the
world, but tend to infest Australia more than most continents. Mostly found in far North Queensland, they like to eat tourists who ignore the warning signs not to swim in the rivers, and drunken fishermen who are too drunk to remember what the signs said when they left shore.
EMU - Flightless bird about the same hight as a man. 
Covered in shaggy grey or brown feathers, the emu lays blue eggs, chases people and pecks them in the eyes, especially if they are holding a bag of kangaroo pellets at a wildlife park. The male emu sits on the eggs until they hatch. They are also farmed for their meat.
KANGAROO - A weird creature that hops on its hind legs with the use of its long tail. Females have a pouch in which they carry their young and can transport other goods such as fully grown humans and money (if you believe Hollywood). They eat grass and can be tamed, but some are aggressive, especially the large males, who can kick humans over with their giant feet, and slash them open with their claws. The kangaroo was the star of Skippy.
KOALA - The animal that every Asian tourist must be
photographed with. Supposedly ‘cuddly’, the koala is constantly high on eucalyptus leaves and ends up sleeping most of the day. Koala’s have sharp claws and teeth and have been known to attack dogs. Mind you, the dogs attacked them first.
RED BACK SPIDERS - Quite iconic due 
to their red spot on their back. The like to hide under the rims of pot plants and window ledges during summer. They can get to the size of a marble, but rarely sit on toilet seats, as the musical community would have you believe. Their bite can fell a man.
ROAD KILL - Road Kill is any animal which has been hit 
by a moving vehicle. Kangaroos are the most common as they tend to jump INTO a car, rather than away from it. Some other animals will just refuse to move (rabbits, koalas, wombats). Emus and kangaroos have been known to write off enitre vehicles. However, care must be taken, because even after an animal is dead, it can still injure you. Running over a dead emu can bend an axel and cause you to lose control of your vehicle. Also eagles and crows are reluctant to leave a rotting carcass if they see your car approaching, so take caution that they don't fly into your windscreen whilst making a last minute get-away.
WOMBAT - A brown bulldozer like creature, which is about the same size as a medium sized dog. It digs holes in the ground to live in and has giant paws with which to do so. It also has long sharp nails and pointy teeth. They have been known to charge at humans and bite them.
GALAH - They may look cute and cheeky with their little pink feathers and loving monogomous relationships - but beware - Galahs have sharp beaks and claws. They can probably crack coconuts open like a beer can if they have to. They are also kept as pets.
CASSOWARIES - Large bird with ordinary plumage, 
except for the beautiful comb on their heads which is often valued by poachers - if only they could get close enough to the freaking things to lop it off. Cassowaries are one of the most dangerous birds in the world, with massive claws like a veloceraptor and a head like an oxygen-deprived turkey, these birds can rip your intestines out with a simple kick of their leg. Although they may look like something that appeared on the Muppet show they are not to be approached under any circumstances as they can attack without warning. They mostly live in Northern Queensland and are "shy" creatures, but after a recent cyclone, the cassowaries have plucked up the courage to come out and look for food. Several innocent road workers have been fatally wounded.
