Viv asks Jen some questions about her home country.
So, Jen, do tell! Does all the blood rush to your feet when you cross the equator for the first time?
-I can't be totally sure, as I've only ever been on this side of the equator, but I'm told that your head explodes if you stand on the equator for too long.
What exactly is involved in a ‘pash’??
A pash is a kiss - or some bogan off-shoot of one. Pashing can result in "pash rash" around the mouth. To use it in a sentence "I saw Charlene and Jason pashing behind the maths block".
What are Australia’s best biscuits? Chocolate? Crisps?
Tim-Tams are our biggest biscuit export - a chocolate biscuit, with chocolate cream in the middle and covered in chocolate. Other than that, Arnott's Shapes are pretty hard to beat, as is a Monte Carlo. As for chocolates, Cherry Ripes would have to be up there along with the 55c Curly Wurly. We don't have crisps in Australia, sorry.
Do milliners retail hats with corks in situ, or is it necessary to attach them oneself?
I can't say I've ever actually seen corked hats for sale in anywhere but a tourist shop. Usually they are situated nearby the walking sticks with the stubby holder and bicycle bell attached to the handle.
How many ‘barbies’ do you attend in the average week?
My family doesn't have many "barbies" as it is a pain to have to clean the BBQ afterwards, and we inevitably run out of gas. However, other normal people would possibly attend up to three or four "barbies" a week - depending on how many friends they know are celebrating their 21st birthday "on the cheap" (ie - in the backyard).
Do you really not give a XXXX for any other lager?
I have no idea where the name XXXX came from, but it is the punchline of a thousand jokes. I actually work nearby the XXXX brewery somedays and the scent of boiling hops wafting over the fenceline smells like a giant wombat has urinated all over your shoes.
Is Paul Hogan a national hero, or a complete wanker?
He was a hero, until he made Crocodile Dundee 3. And I think he won Austrlian of the Year then moved to America, which lost him some points. However Channel Nine still parades him around in his flannel shirts on DVD, reliving the glory years of the Paul Hogan Show. He also made a movie with Michael Caton that Ray Martin attached himself to like a set of South East Asian twins.
Are there any rules in Australian Rules Football?
Yes, there are rules - Australian rules. The umpire/ice cream salesman is always wrong.
